TIFR

Ha! So where were we? So why PHD? Why Research? Why TIFR?

Well, lets start from class 10 onwards. Angel School. What can I say about it? 18 years in one school is a hell long time by any standards. Saw the school evolve from 4 huts to a big building to now 2 large buildings! It became a second home. In fact, the first home. Had a great school life. Was very well known (was supposedly the eye candy of the teachers!) Got fairly good results in X boards. Thereafter I had an option to join Anandalya. But was too attached to Angel to think of leaving it. So decided to continue with it.

Similarly, 12th. Never took it seriously. Always the same attitude. Carefree! Things were never tough. It was never as if I had to slog for something. The 12 result were somewhat disappointing but in hindsight did it ever matter to my future scheme? I doubt.

And then college....The most happening time of my life.....i loved it.....learnt lots of lessons about life......Made great friends......Everything was going so smoothly....But amidst all this fairytale there was something inside which was unsatisfied......That life had been too easy for me all throughout was getting a bit frustrating to me........

I dont want to sound modest or something. But heres the deal. I was never a big believer in hard work. Things generally went quite easily for me. And then in college I was supposed to give GATE. I took it up as a challenge. But again the level of hard work that should have been put up was very low! But things again worked out (again). Lady luck smiled here too (It is just that number as well as quality of students appearing for GATE is quite low). I know I sound preposterous. Ask someone how it feels to miss a CAT or GATE by few marks and then you realize the pain.

But reaching your goal should give you some sort of satisfaction. Some sort of self pride. And there lies a big part of my life. Starting from school, there hardly used to be an occasion when I was filled with an enormous bout of self pride or self satisfaction. There was always this question, "Did I really deserve this? Did someone else deserve it more than me?"

And then came the TIFR results. There were two things. First for the first time in my life, I got a feeling that I too was good. That my life was not full of only flukes! And more importantly, it gave me a belief that I am ready to take upon a path which is difficult (what is percepted difficult). Tthe path that is treaded the least. The path which maybe a struggle. And maybe, just maybe, still emerge successful (again this was more of my personal battle where I try to convince myself and make myself believe that whatever little which I did achieve was not the miracle of lady luck!)

So here lies one of the major factors of joining TIFR. I thought it would provide me the biggest challenge and overcoming this challenge would make all my past extremely satisfying and provide me with the greatest satisfaction I could ever imagine with myself !